Octavia I have been temporarily blinded by all that is going on in the world I have neglected the interior life and as a result have wallowed in this world of misery just as you say.
(Editor’s note: referring to a past Morning Muse that said,
All the world wants to wallow in its misery, and want us to wallow with it.
Once we awaken to Truth, we are a wayshower who then has the ability and the responsibility, to lead those who think they have been blinded, to the Light).
Today, this moment, I chose to remember my true identity. To remember that only God is, therefore I AM. I share this with you that you might share this with me as I know YOU are here too.
Sometimes I feel so alone and wonder where is the realization that goes beyond words and thoughts. I want to KNOW what I know. I know truth or rather the facts but somehow cannot seem to get free from the illusion of the world and this false identity. I long to surrender and have repeatedly but cannot seem to break free. This searching, knocking, asking, letting, receiving etc has been going on now for over 15 years and today it seems like I have made no progress and yet I know there is no where to progress too. So confusing. I feel as low as I ever have and don’t know what to do. I guess once again I just surrender…
Thanks for reading and caring
There is nothing to break free from – continued trying to get free from nothing, only makes that “nothing” seem more and more like something.
Let’s ask this question: If God is All, then who is it that thinks it needs to know, that needs to have a realization, that needs to get free from the illusion?
If You are the pure, pristine, infinite awareness in which everything lives and moves – beyond time and beyond space, this other “you” cannot really exist then, can it? It is therefore, simply a false self, born of repeated conditioning that has been accepted, and then believed to be real.
“Fifteen years” is not a long time by the way, but regardless, divine order is always functioning perfectly. Things are the way they need to be, otherwise, they would be some other way.
“God’s grace is my sufficiency” becomes a very important truth at times like this. We must LET the purification process proceed as it is, and not struggle against it – that only brings about more suffering. But again, who is there here to suffer? No one really.
When we stop and be still, then listen and soften and allow, that is when trust and acceptance, love and surrender will begin to emerge…
We must be able to look at whatever is going on in our experience, and say “Yes, I can keep my Heart open to this.” We don’t want to resist what’s happening or grasp onto anything either – just be that impartial, impersonal Observer.
Having said the above, we do need to be vigilant with our practice, and pay attention to what we are believing at any given moment. We need to be conscious of what our attention is on, continuously.
If we neglect knowing the Truth consciously, every day, every hour, we do so at our own risk. Every layer of the onion skin must be peeled away, in practice, until there’s nothing left but the pure, pristine infinite awareness that we are. If we are really dedicated to this, eventually, the breakthrough comes, or one day we realize that the Truth has established Itself as part of our Consciousness, and we no longer need to involve the mind as much as we used to.
Let me know if this helps, or if you have more specific questions.
We are “merely” being cleansed and purified and prepared for holy transition.
Fear not – it is always I!