Q&A – Abiding Without a “me”

The Question:

I was wondering if you might have some advice regarding abiding in and as Truth? I try to remain focused on Spirit as I go about my day-to-day activities: recognizing God as All, meditating for periods each day. But that is the seeming problem — a “me” turns up, who is working hard trying to abide Spiritually, trying to get somewhere! And this can lead to feelings of frustration and constriction. It seems to be missing the Kingdom. So I guess I am wondering: how does one bypass the mind-made “I have to do this right” — and yet remain centered?

Thank you so much, as ever!


The Answer:

Dear C,

In answer to your question, by constantly recognizing that what it is that is “trying”, is the false “i”, arising in the field of Pure Awareness that is the real You. You are always centered because You Are the Center of your Universe, and It is everywhere! How can we be outside, slip out of, go away from, Everywhere?

We must be indifferent to anything that is not of God. 

Reacting in any way to the fictitious “me” just gives it more seeming validity. The most important word here becomes Acceptance. Continual acceptance of your I AM identity is the key.  

What is also important is relaxing in the knowing that everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be (otherwise it wouldn’t be the way it is).  By allowing whatever is, to be what it is, we LET Spirit do what needs to be done as our consciousness unfolds by Grace. 

God, through the Light of Grace, is the only power, and this Light is the only thing that can dissolve the darkness of the illusory me. We can’t get rid of the shadow – we must cease being the identity that is casting it. By our diligent practice and perseverance in the acceptance of the Truth, without effort, we let, by creating the peace and emptiness for the Christ to work through us. This is very important; we are this very Source of Being, and it is all that exists. Therefore, if we are entertaining, reacting to, thoughts of humanness, the Allness of God can’t come forth into our expression – the two simply cannot co-exist.    

Spirit can’t do its work through and as us, if our consciousness is agitated. The thing to do is to stop and be still, then listen and soften and allow. Then and only then, can the trust and acceptance, love and surrender begin to emerge – and it will! 

Have patience, and remember, this “process” of transformation, of undoing, unlearning, unknowing, is the hardest thing we will ever do. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and feel the gratitude that is always there for This that You Are.

I am here any time you have more questions or just want to share…

All Love,



The Revelation:

Dear Octavia,

Thank you so very much for your beautiful and illuminating reply — which arrived just at the right moment! 

What you say is so important: that struggle, mental churning, thoughts of “I won’t get it in this lifetime…” and so on … all are the very stuff (if it had any) of the false “i”, seemingly perpetuated over time. It *is* the very struggling it appears to be struggling against! I remember Blake’s phrase: “Mind-forg’d manacles.”

One big difference of emphasis, I have found, between Advaita (which I explored for quite a few years) and Infinite Way/ Absolute teachings — is the nature of what Spirit sees. I have noticed that both Herb and Alfred stress that the apparent five-sense world is not what God perceives: that what Is, is the Invisible Reality (and not ‘world mind’ or ‘carnal ‘mind’ projected as and by the senses). I think Herb says somewhere: “What is not God, is not”. Such a statement wouldn’t be found in Advaitin teachings. Initially, false “i” struggled with this: but the more I notice — as you so beautifully say — that Spirit is effortless and omnipresent, the more this becomes clear. Invisible, ever-present Love is the stuff of all — even when appearances contest otherwise. 

So thank you so much again! 

With much love and gratitude